Okay, I could not stand it; I had to blog for therapeutic reasons. Wednesday (yesterday) was a particularly long day. It began with my being unable to sleep. I spent much of the night in prayer and in thought. When my alarm finally went off at 5 am, it was at the time (of course) that I was the most asleep. I got up, went through my morning routine, and headed out at 6:20 am for a meeting I have with one of the men in the Church. This meeting ended about 7:20 and I went home to get my family as we were making the two hour trip to Tulsa, to take Kristina and Ty to the airport - sending them home to Phoenix after a fun-packed month with them here in Arkansas.
Apart from the emotion my family experienced at the airport as we said our good-byes, the trip itself was rather uneventful. We pulled back into Rogers about 4 pm, going straight to the church for meetings and youth group. Upon arrival to my office, a quick check of my email revealed some disturbing news, news that required some thought and action. In the midst of trying to nail down what the exact nature of this disturbing news was, I led the youth group meeting, teaching the youth about the nature of the Trinity. After teaching, about 8 pm, I had received more information concerning the disturbing news that I then followed up on. But I also learned that on a particular forum board that I had left some questions on, I had been labeled as one who “make[s] too little of the Word” and that I ought the ask the question, “How are you not asking for leeks and onions? To paraphrase Keith Green, "so you wanna go back to Egypt?” Without going into all the particulars on that matter, let just say that I amazed at how people can twist one’s words to make you say something you never said. I believe I have had it with this particular forum, at least by way of leaving any posts (I had a similar bad experience). But, what was most disturbing to me was to be essentially regarded as a rationalistic heretic, not because of what I said and asked but because of what others had contrived by their own devices as being my words. This day was ending on a high note. But, it wasn’t over yet.
After meeting with some who could offer insight concerning the earlier disturbing news, the incident then escalated to a point that required, if possible, some immediate action. And so, after some efforts, I was, with the help of Jase (thank you sir) able to confront the issue at about 11 pm. This lasted until just after mid-night. Upon arriving at home, I sought to sort through things for a time and finally went to bed just after 1 am. Just another (long) day in the life of a pastor.
Perhaps I have been a bit too transparent. I have not posted this for sympathy per say, but would appreciate your prayers. We all have days like this, days that never seem to end. Days that are filled with emotion, drama, and heartache. What is a person to do in such times? He must do what is always his privilege and responsibility. To look to the Lord. Such days make me appreciate the familiarity and comfort of God’s Word. For while we may often quote certain passages almost mindlessly, I was reminded of the wonder of such a familiar passage as Proverbs 3:5-7 which says,
Apart from the emotion my family experienced at the airport as we said our good-byes, the trip itself was rather uneventful. We pulled back into Rogers about 4 pm, going straight to the church for meetings and youth group. Upon arrival to my office, a quick check of my email revealed some disturbing news, news that required some thought and action. In the midst of trying to nail down what the exact nature of this disturbing news was, I led the youth group meeting, teaching the youth about the nature of the Trinity. After teaching, about 8 pm, I had received more information concerning the disturbing news that I then followed up on. But I also learned that on a particular forum board that I had left some questions on, I had been labeled as one who “make[s] too little of the Word” and that I ought the ask the question, “How are you not asking for leeks and onions? To paraphrase Keith Green, "so you wanna go back to Egypt?” Without going into all the particulars on that matter, let just say that I amazed at how people can twist one’s words to make you say something you never said. I believe I have had it with this particular forum, at least by way of leaving any posts (I had a similar bad experience). But, what was most disturbing to me was to be essentially regarded as a rationalistic heretic, not because of what I said and asked but because of what others had contrived by their own devices as being my words. This day was ending on a high note. But, it wasn’t over yet.
After meeting with some who could offer insight concerning the earlier disturbing news, the incident then escalated to a point that required, if possible, some immediate action. And so, after some efforts, I was, with the help of Jase (thank you sir) able to confront the issue at about 11 pm. This lasted until just after mid-night. Upon arriving at home, I sought to sort through things for a time and finally went to bed just after 1 am. Just another (long) day in the life of a pastor.
Perhaps I have been a bit too transparent. I have not posted this for sympathy per say, but would appreciate your prayers. We all have days like this, days that never seem to end. Days that are filled with emotion, drama, and heartache. What is a person to do in such times? He must do what is always his privilege and responsibility. To look to the Lord. Such days make me appreciate the familiarity and comfort of God’s Word. For while we may often quote certain passages almost mindlessly, I was reminded of the wonder of such a familiar passage as Proverbs 3:5-7 which says,
Proverbs 3:5-7
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.
So, I offered my prayer: Lord, help me to trust you completely. Keep me from the vanity of rationalizing things according to my knowledge. Let me see all things in light of Your Word – in light of who You are. For You alone are God. Your ways are perfect. Your Word is sure. You have spoken and I believe – help me in my unbelief! Grant me Your direction. Keep me, dear Lord, on Your path. Do not allow me to pursue a path of my own making, a path of destruction. Grant me Your wisdom Lord. Help me to know You. Help me to apply Your principle always, in every situation. Father, help me to fear You – to fear bringing dishonor to Your name by my own selfish and foolish actions. Keep me, I pray, from the evil one. Be glorified in my life. Amen.
Soli Deo Gloria,
Pastor Ed
2 comments:
Thank you for sharing your heart, Pastor Ed. You and your family are in our fervent and daily prayers. Thank you for this prayer you posted the other day... "Lord, may my life be a reflection of You; a living demonstration of Your heart and ways. May the reality of my life be consistent with what I claim to believe. Reveal any hypocrisy or pretense in my walk; any area where I am leaving a better impression of myself than is honestly true. May my life create in others a thirst to know and walk with You."
You and your wife are dear friends and I am thankful that you both reflect Our Lord and truly are a living demonstration to us of the heart of Christ. Both of you have truly created an even deeper thirst to know and walk with Him.
You guys truly are His servants for His glory!!!
Much love in Christ,
Lisa
Lisa,
We too thank the Lord conintually for you and your family as you reflect and honor the Lord with your lives.
May we continue to walk togther in the pursuit of holiness in the bonds of brotherly love in Chirst.
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