Why Men Are Bored With Church

I came across an article on a blog that referred to a book by David Murrow entitled, Why Men Hate Going to Church.  This intrigued me and got me considering.

   

Look around on a Sunday morning at most any church in America, and you will see more women present than men. Why? Men are bored with church. Statistics show most men who attend church are men who grew up in church. Church does not generally attract athletes, sportsmen, construction workers or a vast array of any men in our culture. This quote from David Murrow’s book, Why Men Hating Going to Church, sums up the problem:

Tell me, when did feminine gifts become synonymous with Christian goodness?

Early Christians were known for risk taking, power, aggression and heroic sacrifice. But somewhere in church history, somebody monkeyed with the definition of a Christian!

Today, a good Christian is known mostly for meekness, sensitivity, passivity and sweetness. This standard of Christian behavior is very tough on men (even those who are sold out to Jesus) while it’s easier for women to achieve.

Men have gotten this message: You’re flawed the way God made you. You need an extreme makeover.

And we wonder why men hate going to church.

LET ME BE CLEAR:   

As I list Murrow’s five reasons why most men do not connect with the church, I am not saying I agree, or agree fully with each rationale.  This is particularly true with number 4 and the dress code issue.  But I do believe it makes us think about some of the trends and tendencies in our church.  What do you think?

Here are some reasons why most men do not connect with church according to Murrow:

1. Men are not challenged at church.

Challenge is the love language of men. Men thrive on challenges. Men want to save the world, defeat the enemy and kill the dragon.

Most church messages are focused on relationships and love, things men need to hear but lack the hardcore challenge that motivates them.

2. Church decor is feminine.

Flowers and pastels dominate the decor in most churches. There are scenic pictures of meadows, flowing curtains and pleasant music. Church does not provide an environment men would choose in their spare time.

3. Prayers are weak.

Listen to the things we ask God to do: "Lord, keep us safe. Give us a safe trip. Bless our food. Protect our families."

Security is a high priority for women but not men. Our prayers reflect women’s needs, but not men’s.

4. Our dress code is still too proper.

This is getting better in some churches, but a man should be able to go to church dressed like he was going to Home Depot … and fit right in.

Lots of men not only don’t want to wear a tie, they don’t want to wear a polo shirt either. Men should feel comfortable in their cap and sleeveless shirt.

(Pastor Ed note – The Old Testaments priests were to clean and prepare themselves before coming to the temple to worship and make sacrifices.  True, we are not Levitical priests, but we are a kingdom of priests unto our God who are to offer up sacrifices of praise to Him.  To come to God in some unkempt or unclean manner is not seeking to offer our best to God.  I do not see the need for men to necessarily wear suits and ties, but caps and sleeveless shirts seem to be too far a swing the other direction).

 5. Jesus is depicted as wimpy.

The Jesus of the Bible was a confrontational outlaw in His culture. He didn’t conform. He never backed down. He was a force to be reckoned with who threatened the Jews and the Romans. Jesus is rarely depicted that way in modern churches.

I say we change this! What do you say?